Unfortunately most couples wanting a divorce do so without seeking couple counselling and miss the opportunity of learning to communicate better and getting the psycho-education they need for the relationship to survive.
There are many reasons couples have for wanting a divorce and many of these issues are solvable. A couple may feel hopeless when relationship has broken down but the tragedy is couples seperate when things get tough because they don’t know how to fix things. Reasons for divorce include financial, emotional and sexual infidelity, differences in financial goals, poor communication, constant arguing, unrealistic expectations, lack of intimacy, lack of equality and not being ready for marriage.
The divorce rates in Australia remain high and the proportion of divorces granted as result of joint applications has steadily increased over the last 20 years according to the Bureau of Statistics. The data from 2018 shows that in Australia the average marriage lasts only 12.3 years, slightly better than the average of 8 years in the U.S. Those who receive couple counselling increase their chances of saving the relationship by 25%.
Divorce accounts for over 42.7% of first marriages, 60% of second marriages and 73% of third marriages. The data shows there is an even higher incidence of de facto relationships breaking up. For those particularly with a family divorce is an extremely costly and time consuming exercise that not only involves the division of assets, property settlement but child custody benefits and spousal maintenance.
Most couples do not consider investing in their marriage by committing to a course of couple counselling. Those couples that do reach out on average continue to have difficulties for seven years before they seek professional help.
The Gottman Check-up is an effective tool for couples who are on the brink of divorce as it allows them to identify their strengths and areas they need to improve on. Many strategies, skills and interventions can be learnt during a course of couple counselling and prevent the financial and emotional cost of divorce.