Infidelity is considered a very emotionally painful form of betrayal for the victim so much so that it was once considered a criminal offence.  There is a variety of reasons for infidelity that lead a couple to therapy which may not be easily understood initially.

Research tells us that one of the most common causes of infidelity in a relationship is due to emotional disconnection. Women are more commonly likely to reach out for an emotional connection if they are feeling ignored or undervalued. Men on the other hand are more likely than women to cheat due to a feelings of rejection related to deficits in physical intimacy.

There are various other reason that lead a partner to cheating.  Here are my top seven reasons for Infidelity.

Excessive Alcohol and Drug falling out of love

Sometimes a couple starts to take one another for granted and turn in to housemates.  A couple may lack ways to have fun together leading to boredom and an increased chance of infidelity. Maybe their partner has let themselves go and isn’t as attractive or makes the same effort as they were in the honeymoon stage.

Excessive Alcohol and Drugs

Excessive Alcohol and Drug taking can lead a partner to lose all their inhibitions that can potentially lead to infidelity. Substance abuse can lead to the rational decision making part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) going offline the consequence of which poor choices are made.

Personality Disorders

Those with personality disorders such as Narcissism or Borderline Personality Disorder are more likely to lie or cheat as they are unable to empathise and are programmed to focus on their own needs more than others. A partner betrays a sense of entitlement is more likely to cause infidelity.

Mental Illnesses

Mental Illnesses such as Bi-polar or depression can lead to Infidelity. Poor impulse control can be a factor in why a partner may engage in infidelity.

Attachment Styles

A difference in Attachment styles can lead to infidelity.  if one partner is touchy feely and requires a lot of physical connection and the other partner has an avoidant attachment style then this can be a cause of infidelity.

Poor Boundaries

There may be a lack of boundaries in the relationship that is needed to protect a couple from infidelity. Examples of this include engaging in social media or spending time or texting others that may be viewed as flirting. In fact there has been a spike in relationship issues caused by social media that include infidelity.  The web allows people to very easily connect and this can threaten the relationship if their are no boundaries in place.


If a couple are not able to do conflict in a safe way or avoid conflict altogether it can lead to a partner going outside the relationship for emotional support that can then lead to infidelity.

If you are wanting to recover from infidelity it is important to understand it is possible if you are committed to doing the work.  If you would like to book an appointment please contact me here.