Marriage is more challenging than ever—not because love is dead, but because our expectations have grown. Today’s couples are navigating a world of rapid change, shifting gender roles, and unprecedented pressures on intimacy and partnership.
Why Modern Marriages Struggle
One key shift is that women are now more financially independent than previous generations. While workplace equality is still evolving, many women are far less willing to remain in unhappy marriages simply for economic security.
It’s also more socially acceptable to end a relationship that’s no longer working. The divorce rate still reflects this: for every couple that stays married, another chooses to part ways. And second marriages? Statistically, they’re even more fragile (source).
What We Expect from Marriage Today
Couples today often look for three core elements in a relationship:
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Emotional companionship – someone to confide in, laugh with, and feel supported by
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Shared stability – a partner to build a home, family, and financial security
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Physical connection – a spark of desire and ongoing intimacy
For many, two out of three becomes the compromise. But that compromise often leads to dissatisfaction, emotional distance, or infidelity.
What Couples Are Facing in the Therapy Room
In my practice, I see:
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Couples together for 40 years who’ve lost the spark
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Newlyweds already reeling from infidelity
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Couples clashing over parenting styles
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Individuals stuck in toxic or emotionally abusive relationships
While I can offer powerful tools to help rebuild emotional and physical intimacy, rekindle dopamine and connection, and improve communication—the success always depends on the couple’s willingness to change.
Therapy creates a learning environment. If you’re coachable, take action, and maintain those changes, you’ll start to see that marriage can be understood as a science—one with clear patterns and tools for success.
Even trauma within the relationship can be addressed using EMDR therapy, which helps desensitise painful memories and gives your relationship a better chance to reset.
The Science of Lasting Love
There is a science to happy relationships. Leading researchers like The Gottman Institute have demonstrated that marital success can be predicted and cultivated through consistent behaviours and emotional attunement.
But not everyone wants to do the work. Some reject the science. Some aren’t ready for change. And some are simply burnt out.
If you’re reading this, chances are you’re not one of those people.
Want Faster Results? Try an EMDR Couple Intensive or Retreat
For couples who are time-poor or in crisis, evidence-informed EMDR intensives or private couples retreats offer a powerful alternative to weekly sessions.
Research shows that couples intensives can lead to faster results and deeper breakthroughs in a shorter time frame. They are particularly effective for high-conflict couples, emotional disconnection, or those recovering from betrayal trauma.
Join the EMDR Intensives & Retreats Waiting List
Our EMDR intensives and couples retreats are offered in beautiful, private locations or online from the comfort of your home. These are transformational experiences designed to fast-track healing and clarity.
👉 Join the waiting list now to receive priority access when new spots become available.
Healing doesn’t have to take forever. You just have to be willing to start.
Enquire about a Couple Intensive or Retreat if you would like faster results.