Marriage is much harder than it used to be due to our increased expectations and the way the world is changing. One reason is that women are more self-sufficient than ever before and though they still don’t have complete equality in the workplace they are less willing to stay in an unhappy marriage.
It is culturally acceptable to divorce these days if the relationship isn’t working and the stats still tell us that with every married couple that stays together there is a married couple who call it quits. For second marriages the odds of staying together are even slimmer.
There are three main elements that most individuals want in a partner these days. They desire someone to be their companion and give them the emotional support they need. They need someone to lay down roots with, build a home, family and financial security. Lastly they need someone whom they have physical chemistry with. The demands are high and not everyone gets what they bargained for in marriage. Many couples are willing to settle for a two out of three on the relationship scale.
I see couples that have been together for 40 years and have lost the spark. I see couples that have been together 12 months and are suffering from an infidelity. There are couples that battle on parenting styles and couples that are in extremely toxic and abusive relationships. I can provide all I can on what constitutes a happy, healthy couple. I can give you tips and tools to improve intimacy and get the dopamine back in the relationship. The outcome, however, relies on a couple’s capacity for change.
Couple therapy creates a classroom environment to learn in. If you listen, if you are coachable and take action on what I teach…. If you maintain those changes, you will see that there is a science to marriage. I can even help desensitise the negative memories with EMDR therapy to give the marriage a better chance to heal but at the end of the day it is the couple or perhaps one individual who predicts the survival of their relationship. Again, Marriage is a science. Some people don’t belief in science and some people are just not interested in it.